"To the winer, because if there is a loser, there must be then a winer"
March 2008
"Honorable Members of the Jury
It seems that many centuries ago, there was a person inside of me that believed that love existed and that it was precisely love what moved the world
I have chosen to play this role here, not knowing yet how they will call me inside this court, yet, I do believe I have the right to be standing right in front of you because nobody will know the facts about what has been endured here better than the accused and the accuser
Im here to apologize for having wasted your time so terribly by believing what I used to believe and for thinking -for a brief moment-that I could reach you by showing you -with actions and not only with words -that love, commitment and devotion might still exist in this world; by thinking too, that in spite of having made mistakes and in spite of having already lived, man has always had the right for believe that something better may be coming into his life, and more over , the right to begin again and again whatever he may dream of, for life is short and its end might be just around the corner; and finally, for believing that, in spite of the many flaws man can have, when the main ingredient is securely based between two people, nothing should go wrong and the best of chances should be given to them. So- having that into account-, there cannot be a better defense for the defendant than the words spoken by the defendant herself
I came here to apologize because that was once not only expected from me, but also stupidly requested to me in an absurd call that killed any hope I could have had in the past which I know now that it was there only as a result of traces of some unnecessary naivety that was the product of my being sometimes, still young at heart; so, I then, - not even sure up to this point for which I should apologize- indeed state for the record, that Im truly sorry for having believed once that I could teach some values and some understanding to a soul that was already wasted -at least regarding this case - due to the worst type of selfishness . Nevertheless, it is still my hope that seasons and maturity will provide said soul with the understanding and caring that people near it rightly deserve. Specially for its own benefit
It has been said that hope never dies, but oh it does indeed! But only after suffering a horrible agony might it be left to die slowly but definitely; and when this happens, it takes with it your very own life
Can something else might be considered more despicable?
And although here the death of hope is nothing but collateral damage, I might expect you to still be able to see how criminal that can be in a world where -precisely due to the loss of hope- people choose to merely exist instead of live and where feelings are maybe seen as something silly, stupid and diminished in some instances- and for sure in some others-, as a nuisance or as an impediment to get what you want.
Ladies of this jury: I present to you the world where we live…
The sorrow I feel for the losses I have had can never be eased by any joy that might come to this life again; yet, the instinct for survival is deep within myself because I still have to be strong for those who once-out of respect and compassion- gave this a chance- . But please but do not get mistaken by seeing me walking and talking and still trying to convey into words the death of a soul, for indeed, Im lost for the rest of my life
The prosecution has stated that what happened here was my sole responsibility. I accept that that might be true; but at the end, that comes to be irrelevant; the murderes were two, life imprisonment might be served by two desperate souls, even if only one is condemned … and it is clear that there is one corpse left and said corpse is filling the air that they breath with the stench of betrayal .
Nevertheless, if I am the sole responsible here, be sure Im serving my time harshly; yet, there is much more to be seen than what is visible to the simple eye
So again, honorable members of this jury, the soft yet powerful line overused by many, can be rightly use here:- "He ran into my knife... he ran into my knife ten times"
And, although there is no clear indication of who the murdered is and who the killer was, in my defense I will quote again what was said in those scenes: -" Well, I was in such a state of shock; I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, (viciously) I even knew they (we) were dead."-
So again, honorable members of this jury, the soft yet powerful line overused by many, can be rightly use here:- "He ran into my knife... he ran into my knife ten times"
And, although there is no clear indication of who the murdered is and who the killer was, in my defense I will quote again what was said in those scenes: -" Well, I was in such a state of shock; I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, (viciously) I even knew they (we) were dead."-
Yes, we, the interested parties herein, were given something unique that has been waste and consequently lost; something that in very few occasions people are bestow with. So I ask, NOT you members of this jury, but the world out there:
Should those people be judged in the same manner and by the same yardstick than those who never came even close to have what they had?
Should empty words and unfulfilled promises heard and believed by someone who was already hurt and vulnerable should be considered as mitigating circumstances for murder?
Should lies and fallacies should be accepted as palliatives for truth when truth was at the reach of the hand?
Should malice and manipulation can be ever forgiven without feeling desperate knowing that love and hope had been sacrificed for no reason?
Should compassion and understanding be given to murders and wasters when theres only one chance to do things right, thus not doing so, we condemn life itself?
Should quitting could ever be accepted as the proper thing to do when there was still a spark of caring?
The answer would be no, no, and no, as you may already know; at least, for these eyes and for this mind
The answer would be no, no, and no, as you may already know; at least, for these eyes and for this mind
The accused fought to achieve what was expected.
For what can be considered as a lifetime, and for what should be considered as a proof of commitment and loyalty, she gave what was requested, believed in what was described to her and hoped with wonder for a new beginning for the last time in her life; and although failing seems to have been a constant in the prosecutor's deeds through his entire life, this time there was someone who really believed in him
Can something else might be considered more despicable?
And indeed although he might state that there is no one else and that still, it is always she , the only one, time will prove that that is correct only when there is no flesh involved.
So honorable members of this jury, what goes around, comes around, and although that is not my wish but just a fact , here in this court, there's nothing to rule anymore, there's nothing to save anymore, there's nothing to condemn anymore, because everything is already lost, and what could have been once would never ever be. So after all, what remains to be said is that it is only injustice, it is only malice, it is only selfishness and vanity, and it is only waste what -here- have been served
And with that, ladies of the jury, I rest my case
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