plateau.
my backbone was the strongest part of me.
ill say this proudly.
i have a trembling fear of losing balance in my life. i am an individual that, if i do not keep a leveled head, i go into a state of nirvana with life and my priorities and well-being become disordered and lost. i’ve had to teach that to myself at an early age.
friends, love. things of the like. things with pretty eyes that divert you from your destination, pursuit of your happiness.
this is why i dont believe in most people. this is why i like to avoid everything most people have to offer. this is why i bypass most things that i sense are wasteful. caring about someone and something requires energy that can be useful for more things down the road.
and once i begin to give in, i hand over my head. heart. backbone. now their life consumes mine. now there comes another voice in my head in addition to mine that i must have to put into consideration. them. him. her. suddenly the concept of “I” and “Me” becomes foriegn. Instead of it being your comfort and your sense of guidance, it becomes a terrifying loneliness.
you get it?
give smiles back. reply to her text messages. get coffee with him. laugh. buy things. eat things. do things with other human beings so that you wont go crazy. but don’t, don’t ever hand over your backbone. dont be consumed with someone that you become second, even in your own life. There is the concept of “I” that life will make you work to appreciate.

Isabel Cadena