Summer

..if you tame me, we will need each other.

You will be unique in this world to me.

I will be unique in this world to you....

She came when I needed her the most

Although it was not meant for me, it was always mine in some senses

I saw her playing in her crate and I just knew it had to be her.

So I dived into this new adventure, knowing exactly what it will mean for me.

But also knowing exactly what she might mean for all of us.

And so she came home the very first day of spring that felt just like her name

... Summer...

For days we discussed her name but there was really no other name for her

Her eyes like amber or like a sunset in our beach look quizzically at you asking for the reason for so much sadness around. Her coat -thick and gold- remind us of The Little Prince and the Fox and the eternal idea of "you have done me good for the color of the wheat fields"

Although so many have told us not to... we just needed it and so I did it.

Of course as any other dog we have had, this was no exception...I believe she is the first lab that hates outdoors, when we take her out she obediently does what she has to do, but then she just looks at us like saying, ok are we done here? and strolls back happily to the front door.Or if we leave her out in the front yard she will whine begging us to take her in....

She really hates walking, and at certain points of our daily walks she just nails her paws into the pavement and refuses to walk any more. She also hates the garage and the garbage can so I guess we will have to handle carefully any Greg or Gerald or Gale that might come along

She eats like an elephant and waits eagerly for her meals not having any clue that after the 1oth day of the month we don't have any money not even for food!!!-poor darling

For her being around us means having fun so we simply cannot lay down to rest, watch TV or read a book, she will raise hell if we dare to do that

So again, no Master of the "Ououse"...the leader of the pack yet to be identified...as usual

Meanwhile the marvel of happiness being brought back into this house is happening in front of us and we are trying to take advantage of every piece of it

You say Incredible? Incredible is that companionship, tenderness and happiness can be given by such a simple being

Incredible that my loneliness can be healed and hold by something that could never ever hurt or betray what I feel, what I am or what we were

Maybe Summer will teach us that winter can be over, maybe she will teach us that the simple joys can be found away from that that causes you harm, maybe I will finally accept this peace that surrounds me even if it cannot be shared in the many ways I would have liked.

Maybe someday she will finally accept that walks are good for her and maybe just maybe along with my own steps there will be other steps taken more strongly, more reliably more truthfully than ever

And we'll all walk into a new winter with no fear and no emptiness

Im not that into dogs..Im not!, but Summer is winning me over. I know that this little thing with the potential of turning my house upside down is already teaching me much more about faithfulness and loyalty than many other things that have been around lately

And even though she will be wearing a big ribbon in a couple of days and will be the "18th Birthday present for her rightfully owner, she indeed is bringing smiles and warmth to this little corner in our time, and I'm glad for that

Que nos queda al final?

Que nos queda al final sino la poesia

Esas gotas de amor impresas sobre blanco

Que nos queda al final sino mas que los recuerdos

plasmados entre espacios con trazos olvidados

Que nos queda al final sino puros ensayos

escritos en la niebla de lo que fue un sentimiento

Que nos queda al final sino lo que siempre supimos

Que se mantuvo escondido en medio del engano

Que nos queda al final sino darnos la vuelta

Encogernos de hombros, sonreir en silencio

errgurinos despacito, caminar vacilantes

Y hacer siempre de caso que hemos aprendido

B Illescas

Quizás lo más difícil no sea esta tu ausencia,
ni la falta de presencia , ni el granel de silencio.
Quizás lo más difícil no sea el no escuchar
cuando atardece tus pasos que regresan despacio.
Quizás lo más difícil no sea el no poder contarte
mis miedos y mis sueños, mis dudas, mis anhelos
Quizás lo más difícil no sea el que no estés para abrazarme
ni puedas sostenerme cada vez que te lloro
Ni tampoco pienso que lo más difícil sea
el saberte entre los brazos de alguien más amado,
Y tal vez tampoco sea tan difícil, tan difícil
el no sentir tu aliento, ni tu voz ,ni tu respirar pausado…

Tal vez lo más difícil no es tampoco vivir sin esperanza
ni tampoco vivir sin tu mirar suave y tranquilo
porque al fin y al cabo aunque te me hayas ido,
tu sueño se quedo dormido entre mis sueños claros
y porque al fin y al cabo muchas veces vivimos sobreviviendo el día
Tampoco te diría que lo más difícil sea
no sentir tu calor cada vez que tengo frio
ni intentar olvidar tus palabras y promesas
Ni tampoco lo es el saberme abandonada
o sentirme tan nada o creerme tan poco
ni lo es esta sonrisa obligada que mantengo
que tengo que fingir cuando el dolor se hace muy negro

Lo más difícil querido amigo mío
es este no saber ni qué fuiste ni qué eres
Es también el no tener dónde dejar esta ternura
es quedarme con todo esto y no encontrar donde guardarlo
Es sentir que me he muertoy continuar respirando
Es creer que aun vivo y saber que ya he partido

B Illescas